Bear One Another's Burdens....

There are two things that have struck me this week.  And both have knocked the wind out of me.

The first came Wednesday evening at choir practice.  Our music minister stated that he felt led by the Spirit to begin a prayer time to "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2).  He already had some prepared requests from church members and there were cards on our seats to put our own on.  As he talked through his heart for prayer and helping one another through struggles his emphasis was on relationships with other believers.  I cannot remember if he is the one who said it, but the word "community" cut me to the quick.  It was like a strong realization that that is what I have been looking for and hoping to build in our Sunday School class and felt like has failed miserably.  Don't get me wrong, our class is wonderful.  Our teachers are great and we all enjoy hanging out with each other.  But I fear we seriously lack depth with one another.  We lack a sense of community used to strengthen, encourage, and support in tough times.  I think when we began our monthly socials last year, that was what I had hoped for and was trying to accomplish.  However, on Wednesday night I felt like it has been a complete failure. Yes, we get together and enjoy each other, but I fear we are no deeper past the surface than we were a year ago.  It just hurt and made me feel very sad and alone.

The second came today while at work.  I have been listening to The Boundless Show podcasts by Focus on the Family (highly recommend).  In a previous episode, they interviewed the host of the show and at one point she nailed it on the head when she described what it is like to be a single person.  She stated a realization that she has struggled with is, "I am not your priority....On this earth, I am no one's most important person".  If that doesn't define singlehood, I don't know what does.  At this point in the show she broke down, and I have to admit that I broke down with her.  Like a knife stabbing into and twisting my heart, those words echoed how I have felt so many times.  When you're single, you're not anyone's most important person.  You don't have a person whom you have committed to walk through this life with and someone who is going to walk with you.  You feel isolated, alone, and in despair.  You want someone to come alongside you and hold you while you cry and encourage you when you are weak.  And when you don't have that, it's an added weight to your disheartening situation. 

I realize this has sounded completely whiny of me.  I guess through it, I am hoping someone will see it and use to make an effort to include the single adults in their lives.  Just as many of you reveal your hearts and hurts to your spouses, we need someone to do that with.  I love my church with everything I have.  I believe that we have wonderful pastor, amazing music minister, and teachers who care about us.  But I want to see more help in and for our single adults' ministry.  I want to see someone who is willing to strongly come beside us and open their hearts, homes, and ideas to growing the support and involvement we have in our church.  I want to have a community of single adults who truly bear one another's burdens and who are included and made to feel important in the larger scheme of our church body.


In the middle of the night
When worry finds me
In the middle of the fight
When strength is gone
In the middle of a fire
When fear is closing in
You are, You are my song
You're my hope when hope is gone

I will cast my cares on You the Almighty
I will cast my cares on You 'cause You're good
I will cast my cares on You 'cause You love me, You love me
Oh, oh because You love me

In the middle of the night
When worry finds me
In the middle of the fight
When strength is gone
In the middle of a fire
When fear is closing in
You are, You are my song
You're my hope when hope is gone

So I will cast my cares on You the Almighty
I will cast my cares on You 'cause You're good
I will cast my cares on You 'cause You love me, You love me
Oh, oh because You love me
Oh, oh because You love me

God of glory
You are able
Through Your power
To be faithful
God of mercy
Every moment
You are near to me

God of glory
You are able
Through Your power
To be faithful
God of mercy
Every moment
You are near to me

So I will cast my cares on You the Almighty
I will cast my cares on You 'cause You're good
I will cast my cares on You 'cause You love me, You love me
Oh, oh because You love me
Oh, oh because You love me

In the middle of the night
I'll pray with confidence
In the middle of the fight
You're greater still
In the middle of a fire
Your love is holding me
You are, You are my song
You're my hope when hope is gone

~Cast My Cares by Tim Timmons~

Broken Hallelujah

I met a friend for lunch the other day and we had a long discussion about singlehood and how to deal with it as we get increasingly older and feel like our opportunities are slipping away. We talked about how many people in our lives don't understand, because they were married fresh out of high school or college. We talked about how the world seems to prosper in the area of relationships and those of us who cling to waiting for God's timing and way seem to be forgotten. We discussed how it makes us question our worth, our faith, and who we are. Is it something we're doing wrong? Is it something we're not doing? We came up with no answers. Yet at the same time, we know the Scripture and we know God's answers (Psalm 37:4; Isaiah 55:8-9; Jeremiah 29:11). We know all these things. We tell ourselves these things all the time. We believe God loves us and wants the best for us. But we don't understand why we are still waiting with no sign of an answer from God about what our futures hold. Our emotional lives are like a rollercoaster. One minute we're chugging along and enjoying our lives and the next we're in a valley of depression and loneliness that no one seems to comprehend. We desire companionship and to feel important to another human being. And as the days fade, so does our strength to hold on to hope.

It's really funny as I mention the word "hope". God has as sense of humor. In Sunday School last week, the lesson was on hope. Our teacher asked if God always answered our prayers the way we wanted them answered. And of course, the response was "No". Then he asked how we respond to God when this happens. In honesty, I said that I sometimes through temper tantrums. Other answers included pity parties, regrouping and focusing on God, and keeping the faith. I've done all and I think we go through periods of each.

If our hope is in our circumstances, we will always be disappointed, because they always change and more often than not we find something wrong with them. Our hope is to be in the everlasting God, the Creator of our hearts that are breaking and the tears rolling down our faces (Isaiah 40:28-31). We have to keep trusting and choosing to believe Him even when He seems silent on the things that are most important to us at the moment.

Mandisa's song "Broken Hallelujah" was what God brought to mind after the lunch with my friend. As I listened to it again, I imagined that whoever wrote it was going through a similar season of loneliness and desperately trying to hang on to God and His hope. And that is what I want to do. I don't want my heart and mind to be consumed with thoughts of being single, but when I try to let it go and give it to God, I fall apart and fear creeps in that I will always be single or have to settle for less. But that's where I have to die to my selfish ways through the Holy Spirit and sing that broken hallelujah to my perfect God who hears my every plea. To all of those hurting because you are single, you are not alone. God, help us and show Yourself to us and make Your presence real. We do love You and trust You, even in our sadness.



With my love and my sadness
I come before You, Lord
My heart's in a thousand pieces
Maybe even more

Yet I trust in this moment
You're with me somehow
And You've always been faithful
So, Lord, even now

When all that I can sing
Is a broken hallelujah
When my only offering
Is shattered praise
Still a song of adoration
Will rise up from these ruins
I will worship You and give You thanks
Even when my only praise
Is a broken hallelujah

Oh, Father, You have given
Much more than I deserve
And I have felt Your hand of blessing
On me at every turn

How could I doubt Your goodness
Your wisdom, Your grace
Oh, Lord, hear my heart
In this painful place
When all that I can sing
Is a broken hallelujah
When my only offering
Is shattered praise
Still a song of adoration
Will rise up from these ruins
I will worship You and give You thanks
Even when my only praise
Is a broken hallelujah,

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah

 I lift my voice
Your Spirit moves
I raise my hands
I reach for You
'Cause all that I can sing
Is a broken hallelujah
And my only offering
Is shattered praise
Still a song of adoration
Will rise up from these ruins
I will worship You and give You thanks
Even when my only praise
Is a broken hallelujah
Hallelujah
~Broken Hallelujah by Mandisa~

When Hope is Gone, Praise the Lord

This morning was a rough one.  The days have been that way a lot more lately.  Not a total depression as I have battled before, but just a deep blah and sadness that makes me want to cry for no apparent reason.  I remind myself that I have worked too hard and God has brought me too far to dwell in the sadness. But still it returns over and over this past week. But God always brings hope and joy and peace. 
One of my favorite passages is Psalm 23: "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.  He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters.  He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.  Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.  You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with oil; my cup overflows.  Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life,and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."  I find comfort in picturing myself with my head in Jesus' lap as we sit in green, green grass next to a calm brook.  He runs His hands through my hair and comforts me as I cry and His presence alone brings peace. 
This morning God so graciously used KLOVE's Encouraging Word of the day to lift my spirits and restore my life.  Today's verse was Psalm 42:11, "Why am I discouraged?  Why is my heart so sad?  I will put my hope in God!  I will praise Him again - my Savior and my God!"
And the best thing about life, to me, is music.  God has amazing ways of ministering through it.  I have had the joy of rejoining my church's choir over the past few months under new leadership and I am thrilled about it now.  Our music minister has a complete passion for God and worship.  Exactly what I want when I grow up.  Kim really knows how music can touch a heart and God can use it to change a life and that even we in choir need those reminders for ourselves.  God brought Our God Saves to my heart this morning and even though I sang the words wrong (sometimes I do that), the heart of the message is what brought strength.

In the name of the Father
In the name of the Son
In the name of the Spirit
Lord, we've come

We're gathered together
To lift up Your name
To call on our Savior
To fall on Your grace

In the name of the Father
In the name of the Son
In the name of the Spirit
Lord, we've come

We're gathered together
To lift up Your name
To call on our Savior
To fall on Your grace

Hear the joyful sound of our offering
As Your saints bow down, as Your people sing
We will rise with You, lifted on Your wings
And the world will see that

Our God saves, our God saves
There is hope in Your name

In the name of the Father
In the name of the Son
In the name of the Spirit
Lord, we've come

We're gathered together
To lift up Your name
To call on our Savior
To fall on Your grace

Hear the joyful sound of our offering
As Your saints bow down, as Your people sing
We will rise with You, lifted on Your wings
And the world will see that

Our God saves, our God saves
There is hope in Your name

Mourning turns to songs of praise
Our God saves, our God saves

Hear the joyful sound of our offering
As Your saints bow down, as Your people sing
We will rise with You, lifted on Your wings
And the world will see that
Yes, the world will see that

Our God saves, our God saves
There is hope in Your name

Mourning turns to songs of praise
Our God saves, our God saves
Our God saves, our God saves
Our God saves, our God saves
~Our God Saves by Paul Baloche~