Let the Little Children Come to Me...

The Father has been answering some prayers and placing others on my heart lately.  A recent training I attended talked about the importance of physically reaching out to the kids we work with.  Many kids in the city schools go without their parents touching them (hugs, high fives, etc.) for long periods of time.  Or the touches they do receive come in the form of abuse.  To many that high five or hand shake from the teacher or administrator or social worker is the only contact they get.  It brings a sense of camaraderie and trust.
At the end of last month I was feeling lonely and just desiring a connection with someone.  I wanted to lay my head on someone's lap and have them run their hand through my hair, like a mother to her child.  I was looking for comfort and God brought it to me in the most unexpected way. 
A few Sundays ago I was at an inner-city church and a young girl came up to me and began to hug me and hang around.  She sat down next to me during church and I just felt such a tug on my heart to reach out and wrap my arms around her.  The whole time of worship I had my hand on her shoulder.  As the service progressed she moved closer to me and wrapped my arm around her.  Immediately tears began to fall and I heard God tell me, "This is the connection you've been looking for, the touch you need."  It wasn't so much anymore about me needing that connection, because a great burden was placed on my heart to reach out to and love on the kids at this church.
Since that Sunday I have visited the kids' Sunday School class.  There is a great need for people to come and love and teach these kids with a program designed for them.  Right now there is one teacher for approximately 20 kids, ages 2-12.  I've been praying about how God wants me to be involved.  Many ideas and desires have come to mind, but fear and self-doubt also come to mind.  I am not sure what to do or how to do it, but I plan on pursuing this desire God has placed in my heart.  I would like to ask for your prayers for a few things:

• Pray for the boys and girls, that the Spirit will open the eyes of their hearts to see His truth (Ephesians 1:15-19).
• Pray for the enemy to be bound and darkness to be dispelled, because Satan has blinded the minds of the unbelieving (2 Corinthians 4:3-4).
• Pray for the hearts of the children, that they will not be hardened, but that they will be opened for God to place a new, living heart in them to follow His commands and to be counted among His people (Ezekiel 11:19-20).
• Pray for leaders (young men especially) with a heart for children to be raised up and called to love and serve and be role models for these kids (2 Timothy 2:2).
• Pray for me, that I will be humble and not act like Miss Know-It-All, but that I will have a servant's heart to reach out to these kids (Philippians 2:5-8).

This morning God brought to mind the account of Cain and Abel.  When God asked Cain where Abel was he replied, "Am I my brother's keeper?" (Genesis 4:9).  The answer is a resounding, "Yes!"  We are to keep and watch over our younger brothers and sisters in Christ.  If not, we're like the watchman who sees the trouble coming, but doesn't sound the alarm.  In the end he is held accountable for all the lives lost, because he didn't do his job (Ezekiel 33:6).


Oh, gently lay your head upon My chest
And I will comfort you like a mother while you rest
And the tide can change so fast
But I will stay the same through the past
The same in the future, the same today

I am constant, I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy, I am wise
I'm the only One who knows your heart's desires, your heart's desires

Oh, weary, tired, and worn
Let out your sighs
And drop that heavy load you hold
'Cause Mine is light

I know you through and through
There's no need to hide
I want to show you love
That is deep and high and wide

I am constant, I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy, I am wise
I'm the only One who knows your heart's desires, your heart's desires

 I am constant, I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy, I am wise
I'm the only One who knows your heart's desires, your heart's desires

Oh, gently lay your head upon My chest
And I will comfort you like a mother while you rest
~I Am by Jill Phillips~

Desensitized and Disillusioned

"I'm bored."  The most repeated phrase I heard out of a boy's mouth at Vacation Bible School.
Blank stares in a Sunday School.
"What else is there?"  "Is this all there is?"  "Why can't I have what she has?"  Questions I've asked myself a million times.
If you are a Christian, chances are you have encountered all these thoughts, feelings, and actions.  After all, it's not too often that we find a Christian who stands out.  We're so used to complacency, to seeing everybody smiling in church, but not living a powerful, Spirit-filled life.  Over these past few months God has really been opening my eyes to how He intended our Christianity to be.  We have so missed the mark.
A couple of years ago, I began to feel a tug on my heart and ask the question: "Is this going to church and pretending everything is okay and that I'm not struggling in sin and doubt all there is to being a Christian?"  It's all I ever saw.  I was never invited to really become a part of a maturing Christian's life: to observe and be taught and be challenged.  As I began to ask my Sunday School teacher about something more, she led me to a lady who would disciple me.  In turn, she introduced me to a group of ladies whose passion and purpose was to follow Jesus and build women to do the same.  What they had amazed me and I wanted it too.  But it's not today's standard and I didn't think I could ever have anything like it. 
Over the past three years I have had three women disciple me.  But it hasn't been until the last few months that my heart and desire have been changed to really start pursuing and developing my relationship with God.  Through the lady who has been discipling me, the books of Leslie Ludy, and key verses God has placed on my heart to memorize, claim, and pray (Matthew 7:7-8, Hebrews 11:6), I have been able to get a glimpse of what God truly has for us in our relationships with Him.  It's so much bigger and beautiful and passionate than anything I've ever experienced.  It calls for self-sacrifice, discipline, a yielded heart, and perseverance.  Nothing ever comes easy and so it is with a satisfying, fulfilling relationship with God.  It's not that He doesn't want to have that with us.  It's that He wants to reveal Himself to those who are faithful enough to lay aside everything to pursue Him. 
A true relationship with God, one that changes your life and stands out in the sea of Christians, is one in which God is placed first and earnestly sought after.  He is radically changing my world and the way I view Christianity.  It deeply saddens me that so few people are really transformed upon accepting Jesus.  Granted, it is a process, but we should be swept away in a joyous adventure, not roped into the mundane of the crowd.
As I glimpse more of the Father, and the relationship He desires to have with me, I want to shout the joy and wonders of it to the world.  I urge you, I beseech you, I beg of you to surrender your heart, mind, body, and soul to God and to begin praying that He will reveal Himself to you.  Then do your part and seek (Jeremiah 29:13).  God promised that you will find Him, but too often we wait to look until we are buried in sin or pain, and at that point we begin to doubt His presence and goodness.  It is imperative we begin seeking right now.  Believe me, He will reward your pursuit of Him with joy and peace and confidence of His presence.  It's not easy, but it's possible.  A radical, Spirit-filled life is not the norm, but it is worth stepping out in faith and being "weird".

Many have traveled this road before
I see their tracks in the dirt
But maybe I don't agree
With where they are leading

And who am I, just a youth
But why has that become the excuse?
A monotone voice
In my head saying

"Dreaming all the time, it's so foolish
Your flood of empty words will drown you in ruin"
So we listen
Should we listen?

They shake their heads
As they drive away in the bandwagon
Didn't feel like hitching a ride
Oh, but I'll be fine

Some nights it's hard to be alone
I want some kind of kinship
But the finish line
It drives me on when they say

"Dreaming all the time, it's so foolish
Your flood of empty words will drown you in ruin"
So we listen
Should we listen?

Come with me, they'll call us revolutionaries
Come with me, they'll call us revolutionaries
Revolutionaries
Revolutionaries

Dreaming all the time, it's not foolish
Your flood of life giving words
They will refresh
They will refresh

Dreaming all the time, it's not foolish
Your flood of life giving words
They will refresh
Should we listen?
Revolutionaries
~Revolutionaries by Bethany Dillon~


I hear a voice calling out
I hear a voice in this wilderness
Where darkness has reigned for so long
Ground is being taken

The trumpet sounds
And Your glory touches the ground
And we all stand in awe
Who is this, this glory far beyond us?
I hear a voice

I hear a drum beating, heaven's drawing near
The sky will open up, people are being healed
I hear a drum beating, heaven's drawing near
The sky will open up, people are being healed
I hear a voice

Heaven's battle cry, Rise!
See the sun light what was hidden
Heaven's heartbeat, see it moving
What was a whisper is now
A voice calling out

I see a generation rising up
No longer accepting lies
Running to the battlefield
And losing their lives

I see a generation rising up
No longer accepting lies
As a band of worshipers run to the battlefield
They're finding their lives
They're finding their lives
I hear a voice

Heaven's battle cry, Rise!
See the sun light what was hidden
Heaven's heartbeat, see it moving
What was a whisper is now
A voice calling out

Heaven's battle cry, Rise!
See the sun light what was hidden
Heaven's heartbeat, see it moving, it's moving
What was is a whisper is now, is now
A voice, voice calling out
~A Voice Calling Out by Bethany Dillon~

The Scent of a Christmas Tree

I know.  It's a weird title.  However, it is the scent that makes me the happiest right now.  I debated for weeks whether or not to get a tree and finally decided that I really wanted one, even if I could only have it for 2 weeks.  I'm one of those people who recognizes things by smells.  My grandma's house.  The rain.  The mall.  Any place I go has a certain smell to it and it brings back memories.  Sometimes I'll be walking along and I'll smell something and it's so familiar, but I can't place it.  Whether it is something good or bad I'm reminded of, I remember by smell.  What's the purpose of such a weird blog?  Well, every day when I get home and every night before I go to sleep I sniff my tree and it makes me smile.  It does more than make me smile though.  It reminds me of what Christmas is about.
CHRISTmas is more than presents and running around like a chicken with it's head cut off.  CHRISTmas is more than decorating your house and trying to make it look better than the neighbors'.  CHRISTmas is more than the good food and eating until you can't breathe.  CHRISTmas is about Christ, Jesus, God come to earth.  The Bible tells us that "[T]here has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord" (Luke 2:11).  That is what this season is about every year.  Celebrating the birth of a Savior, Messiah, and Lord.
The most detailed account of the virgin birth of Jesus is found in the Gospel of Luke.  On the surface this doesn't seem like a significant piece of data.  But we need to delve a little further.  What is the importance of Luke having the most detailed account of the virgin birth?  Luke was a doctor (Colossians 4:14).  Everything he knew and had been taught went against the possibility of a virgin birth.  I'm sure there were many textbook defying things he encountered in his life, but the most mind boggling would be the virgin birth of a Savior.  What's more is that Luke didn't just accept what he had heard from others.  He was just like the rest of us and he researched and questioned until he found the answers he was looking for.  In the Luke 1:1-4 it says, "So many others have tried their hand at putting together a story of the wonderful harvest of Scripture and history that took place among us, using reports handed down by the original eyewitnesses who served this Word with their very lives.  Since I have investigated all the reports in close detail, starting from the story's beginning, I have decided to write it all out for you, most honorable Theophilus, so that you may know beyond the shadow of a doubt the reliability of what you were taught."  Luke searched for the answers and tested the things he had heard concerning Christ.  But Luke went beyond the research and did what any disciple of Jesus would do.  Once he found out that all he had heard was true, he wrote it all out so that others (Theophilus was his main audience) would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that everything they had heard was true.  He wanted others to know the same truth he had discovered.
How true this needs to be of us during this season.  A lot of us have heard the story of Jesus' birth over and over again.  It's time now to discover for ourselves what the Word of God says about the birth of Christ.  We can listen and listen to the story of Christ's birth again and again, but until we read it for ourselves and really dissect what it means then it will just remain a story.  Jesus' birth was not an accident.  It was planned by God before the foundation of the earth was laid.  From the beginning of time men were prophesying about the coming Messiah.  And today, more than 2,000 years after the birth and death of Christ, we are still marvelling at the wonder of it.  How could a God so big, become so small to save every human on earth?  It is more than our minds can comprehend, but as long as we walk by faith and seek God and the truth for ourselves we can know the love of Christ.  As we learn about the love of God and what He has done for us, and as we follow in His footsteps, then we too can carry the smell of Christmas (Ephesians 5:2; 2 Corinthians 2:14).

See the virgin is delivered
In a cold and crowded stall
Mirror of the Father's glory
Lies beside her in the straw

He is mercy's incarnation
Marvel at this miracle
For the virgin gently holds
The Glorious Impossible

Love has come to walk on water
Turn the water into wine
Touch the leper, bless the children
Love both human and divine

Praise the wisdom of the Father
Who has spoken through His Son
Speaking still, He calls us to
The Glorious Impossible

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
Glorious Impossible

He was bruised for our transgressions
And He bears eternal scars
He was raised for our salvation
And His righteousness is ours

Praise, oh, praise Him, praise the glory
Of this lavish grace so full
Lift your souls now and receive
The Glorious Impossible

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
Glorious Impossible

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
Glorious Impossible, Glorious Impossible

Praise, oh, praise Him, praise the glory
Of this lavish grace so full
Lift your souls now and receive
The Glorious Impossible
~Glorious Impossible by Carl Cartee~

To Whom Much is Given, Much is Required

...[F]rom everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more.
~Luke 12:48 (NASB)~

We see this in everyday life.  Rich people pay more taxes.  Adults do more work than children.  The list could go on and on.  But never has this saying meant more to me than right now.  As I write this, I am also preparing my first lesson for a discipleship group God has seen fit to let me lead.  I do not know if it is going to be one lady or ten.  I do not know if they are going to be my age or older.  All I know is that I have been taught and it is now my turn to teach.  After all, that is the core of discipleship.  You learn to follow Jesus to turn around and teach others the same.  This is the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20).  This is every Christians' purpose in life.  This is what God intended Jesus' disciples to do.  This is my biggest, most important responsibility.  It is scary and exciting all at once.  Most of all though, it is amazing to see God's hand at work in my life.  It is cool to see how He has sent people to teach me and now asks me to do the same.  God's given me so much and now it is my turn to give to others and give back to Him.

Empty hands held high
Such small sacrifice
If not joined with my life
I sing in vain tonight

May the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign Your name
At the end of the day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You

Lord, I give my life
A living sacrifice
To reach a world in need
To be Your hands and feet

So may the words I say
And the things I do
Make my lifesong sing
Bring a smile to You

Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign Your name
At the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to You
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Let my lifesing sing to You

Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign Your name
At the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You

Let my lifesong sing to You
Let my lifesong sing to You
I want to sign Your name
At the end of this day
Knowing that my heart was true
Let my lifesong sing to You
~Lifesong by Casting Crowns~

Wasted, By Who's Standards?

A lot has happened since my last post.  I didn't get into the school I wanted (crying was involved).  I registered for the school I didn't want to go to (it'll be a great education anyway).  I still have no idea what's happening with my life (God does!!!!).  All these things are happening for a reason.  I may not know what they are, but they have a purpose (Ecclesiastes 3:1-14).  With that said, I want to write about being wasted.

Wasted - done to no avail; useless; to consume, spend, or employ uselessly

I was listening to the radio one day while on a transport for work.  It was on some rap station (not at all my kind of music).  Anyway, a commercial came on about a local club.  They were advertising their weekend deals and specials.  The part that caught my attention was their "wasted" Fridays.  They were talking about $5 shots and coming out on Friday and getting crunk (crazy drunk).  This was the what they spent their allotted 1 minute 30 seconds repeating (if you don't know anything about repetition, it's the quickest and easiest way to learn and memorize something, for it to sink into your mind permanently).  It got me thinking about how sad that is, if the highlight of a person's week is to go out and drink until you can't think straight.  What kind of life is that?  What's the purpose?
Yet, there are so many other ways in which we waste our lives.  It doesn't have to involve alcohol or drugs, finding a high to get you away from the world.  There are so many things to get addicted to that uselessly consume our time.  Television, music, make believe, dreams, focusing on negativity, focusing on the fact that there seems to be no purpose or direction, thinking that what you're doing now isn't accomplishing anything (my biggest problem now).  As a Christian, it could be not doing all God has asked (guilty as charged).  We are His workmanship created to do good works (Ephesians 2:10).  If we are too busy focusing on the stuff, on what we are or aren't doing, what we should be doing; we're not looking at God, we are wasting our lives. 
There is nothing at all wrong with asking God what His purpose for your life is.  There is nothing wrong with pursuing that purpose.  BUT it has to be accomplished in HIS time, NOT ours.  I get disappointed by the fact that I don't know where He wants me to be in life, what my career is going to be, what He wants me to do now, what He wants me to do later.  I get so wrapped up in it that I waste my time.  He has me exactly where He wants me to be, doing exactly what He wants me to be doing.  When it's time for me to move on to something else He is more than capable of moving me there.  I don't have to be worried about.  I don't have to obsess.  I don't have constantly bug Him about it.  He knows what He's doing with my life and how He's going to get me there (Jeremiah 29:11).  My only job is to focus on Him and work where He has me now, doing what I'm doing (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14; Romans 12:1-2).  Anything else is wasting the time He's given.

Standing at the back door
She tried to make it fast
One tear hit the hardwood
It fell like broken glass
She said sometimes love slips away
And you just can't get it back
Let's face it

For one split second
She almost turned around
But that would be like pouring raindrops
Back into a cloud
So she took another step and said
I see the way out and I'm gonna take it

I don't wanna spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I let all these years go by
Wasted

Another glass of whiskey
But it still don't kill the pain
So he stumbles to the sink
And pours it down the drain
He said it's time to be a man
And stop living for yesterday
Gotta face it

'Cause I don't want to spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I let all these years go by
Wasted

Oh, I don't want to keep on wishing
Missing the still of the morning
The color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted

She kept driving along
'Til the moon and the sun
Were floatin' side by side

He looked in the mirror
And his eyes were clear
For the first time in while, yeah

Oh, I don't want to spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I let all these years go by
Wasted

Oh, I don't want to keep on wishing
Missing the still of the morning
The color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted

Oh, I don't want to spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I let all these years go by
Wasted, yeah, yeah

Oh, I don't want to keep on wishing
Missing the still of the morning
The color of the night
I ain't spending no more time
Wasted
~Wasted by Carrie Underwood~

*Be still and know that I am God*

These are the words God gave me when I was worrying about graduate school.  A hard lesson to learn, though it is where I am right now.  At this point I have applied to two schools, one through the encouragement and insistance of my Sunday school teacher, Melanie, and her daughter.  They said, "Life's short.  Why not have an adventure?"  They teamed up against me and told me that I have taken on too much responsibility for my age and that I need to go have some fun.  My argument was that I had already made my decision and I shouldn't change my mind.  Plus, what about my family?  Those first few days after we talked about my applying for that school I was nervous and unsure, thinking about all the "What ifs?"  That was on a Monday.  On Wednesday, around 5:55 p.m., I felt this desire to go to church.  Normally, I don't go to church on Wednesday nights, and since it starts at 6:00 I didn't think I would go, but that night I felt like I should.  So I went and when I arrived, Bro. Danny was starting to preach.  He was going through Psalm 46, preaching about peace.  The verse that stuck out the most was verse 10, "Cease striving (be still) and know that I am God".  Immediately I stopped and knew that God was talking to me and telling me to stop worrying about all the "What ifs?" and to just trust Him.  While that is always easier said than done, I have come to cling to that verse everytime I worry about grad school and where I am going.  After a few days, I began to become excited about it.  I got everything together for my application and got all the godliest women I know to pray with and for me as I pursued this avenue.  The day I went to send my application all my fears and doubts came back.  I was scared I was making the wrong decision, scared I was going to be rejected, scared of what my family might say.  I focused on all my insecurities and when I told Melanie she reminded me to get still before God and listen.  I was too nervous, too scared of what He might say.  But when I finally did He reminded me of His words, "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10).  Those few little words whispered into the storms of my thoughts brought so much comfort.  I'm still nervous, but everytime I begin to worry about the unknown I think of those words and God brings me peace.

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me


And oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us all


He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me


And oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us all


He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves


And we are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking


And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about, the way


That He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves


Yeah, He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves


Yeah, He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves
~How He Loves by David Crowder Band~

First Entry

Hi Everyone,

Welcome to my first blog.  I don't know how long it will last or where God will lead me with it.  All I want is to be open to where He leads.  The "About Me" section says it all about why I have started this blog.  Feel free to ask any questions and I will do my best to provide truthful answers.  If you are reading this and don't have much, or any knowledge, of the Bible and don't understand what the references mean, I suggest going to  http://www.biblegateway.com/ and typing the reference in the quick search.  This will display for you the verses I have posted from the Bible.  I hope that as I go through this life I can have an impact for God.  I want Him to use me for His great purposes (Jeremiah 29:11; Romans 12:1-2).  Thanks for joining me on this journey.

What will they say when I'm gone
In words that are written in stone
Under my name
What will they claim about me

Oh, I want to leave a legacy to be remembered
More than just a memory that fades away
Because we only, we only get one life

Free me, my hands are tied
I'm so tired of wasting time
These endless inventions
Steal my attention from real life
And when it's done, when it's over

Oh, I want to leave a legacy to be remembered
More than just a memory that fades away
Because we only, we only get one life

And will the world see Christ
When they look at my life
Oh, will the world see

Oh, come on, give me, give me, give me real life
And no more, no more, no more wasting time
Because we only, we only get one life

Oh, I want to leave a legacy to be remembered
More than just a memory that fades away
Because we only, we only
Because we only, we only get one life
~Legacy by Sanctus Real~