*Be still and know that I am God*

These are the words God gave me when I was worrying about graduate school.  A hard lesson to learn, though it is where I am right now.  At this point I have applied to two schools, one through the encouragement and insistance of my Sunday school teacher, Melanie, and her daughter.  They said, "Life's short.  Why not have an adventure?"  They teamed up against me and told me that I have taken on too much responsibility for my age and that I need to go have some fun.  My argument was that I had already made my decision and I shouldn't change my mind.  Plus, what about my family?  Those first few days after we talked about my applying for that school I was nervous and unsure, thinking about all the "What ifs?"  That was on a Monday.  On Wednesday, around 5:55 p.m., I felt this desire to go to church.  Normally, I don't go to church on Wednesday nights, and since it starts at 6:00 I didn't think I would go, but that night I felt like I should.  So I went and when I arrived, Bro. Danny was starting to preach.  He was going through Psalm 46, preaching about peace.  The verse that stuck out the most was verse 10, "Cease striving (be still) and know that I am God".  Immediately I stopped and knew that God was talking to me and telling me to stop worrying about all the "What ifs?" and to just trust Him.  While that is always easier said than done, I have come to cling to that verse everytime I worry about grad school and where I am going.  After a few days, I began to become excited about it.  I got everything together for my application and got all the godliest women I know to pray with and for me as I pursued this avenue.  The day I went to send my application all my fears and doubts came back.  I was scared I was making the wrong decision, scared I was going to be rejected, scared of what my family might say.  I focused on all my insecurities and when I told Melanie she reminded me to get still before God and listen.  I was too nervous, too scared of what He might say.  But when I finally did He reminded me of His words, "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10).  Those few little words whispered into the storms of my thoughts brought so much comfort.  I'm still nervous, but everytime I begin to worry about the unknown I think of those words and God brings me peace.

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me


And oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us all


He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
And I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me


And oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us all


He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves


And we are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking


And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about, the way


That He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves


Yeah, He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves


Yeah, He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves
~How He Loves by David Crowder Band~