There are two things that have struck me this week. And both have knocked the wind out of me.
The first came Wednesday evening at choir practice. Our music minister stated that he felt led by the Spirit to begin a prayer time to "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2). He already had some prepared requests from church members and there were cards on our seats to put our own on. As he talked through his heart for prayer and helping one another through struggles his emphasis was on relationships with other believers. I cannot remember if he is the one who said it, but the word "community" cut me to the quick. It was like a strong realization that that is what I have been looking for and hoping to build in our Sunday School class and felt like has failed miserably. Don't get me wrong, our class is wonderful. Our teachers are great and we all enjoy hanging out with each other. But I fear we seriously lack depth with one another. We lack a sense of community used to strengthen, encourage, and support in tough times. I think when we began our monthly socials last year, that was what I had hoped for and was trying to accomplish. However, on Wednesday night I felt like it has been a complete failure. Yes, we get together and enjoy each other, but I fear we are no deeper past the surface than we were a year ago. It just hurt and made me feel very sad and alone.
The second came today while at work. I have been listening to The Boundless Show podcasts by Focus on the Family (highly recommend). In a previous episode, they interviewed the host of the show and at one point she nailed it on the head when she described what it is like to be a single person. She stated a realization that she has struggled with is, "I am not your priority....On this earth, I am no one's most important person". If that doesn't define singlehood, I don't know what does. At this point in the show she broke down, and I have to admit that I broke down with her. Like a knife stabbing into and twisting my heart, those words echoed how I have felt so many times. When you're single, you're not anyone's most important person. You don't have a person whom you have committed to walk through this life with and someone who is going to walk with you. You feel isolated, alone, and in despair. You want someone to come alongside you and hold you while you cry and encourage you when you are weak. And when you don't have that, it's an added weight to your disheartening situation.
I realize this has sounded completely whiny of me. I guess through it, I am hoping someone will see it and use to make an effort to include the single adults in their lives. Just as many of you reveal your hearts and hurts to your spouses, we need someone to do that with. I love my church with everything I have. I believe that we have wonderful pastor, amazing music minister, and teachers who care about us. But I want to see more help in and for our single adults' ministry. I want to see someone who is willing to strongly come beside us and open their hearts, homes, and ideas to growing the support and involvement we have in our church. I want to have a community of single adults who truly bear one another's burdens and who are included and made to feel important in the larger scheme of our church body.
In the middle of the night
When worry finds me
In the middle of the fight
When strength is gone
In the middle of a fire
When fear is closing in
You are, You are my song
You're my hope when hope is gone
I will cast my cares on You the Almighty
I will cast my cares on You 'cause You're good
I will cast my cares on You 'cause You love me, You love me
Oh, oh because You love me
In the middle of the night
When worry finds me
In the middle of the fight
When strength is gone
In the middle of a fire
When fear is closing in
You are, You are my song
You're my hope when hope is gone
So I will cast my cares on You the Almighty
I will cast my cares on You 'cause You're good
I will cast my cares on You 'cause You love me, You love me
Oh, oh because You love me
Oh, oh because You love me
God of glory
You are able
Through Your power
To be faithful
God of mercy
Every moment
You are near to me
God of glory
You are able
Through Your power
To be faithful
God of mercy
Every moment
You are near to me
So I will cast my cares on You the Almighty
I will cast my cares on You 'cause You're good
I will cast my cares on You 'cause You love me, You love me
Oh, oh because You love me
Oh, oh because You love me
In the middle of the night
I'll pray with confidence
In the middle of the fight
You're greater still
In the middle of a fire
Your love is holding me
You are, You are my song
You're my hope when hope is gone
~Cast My Cares by Tim Timmons~
